Sunday, October 14, 2018

Happy Birthday dear son!

Happy 7th Birthday my dear son!!

Toughest year for me so far!! Awak cakap mami garang!! With you losing everything everyday, it’s hard to keep my cool sayang~~ tak campur lagi all the destruction and damaged u caused.. intentionally or accidentally >_<

Regardless of all the crap you pull.. know that I will still love you, always and forever!!

You are my baby, for as long as I’m living.. and i miss those long hair!!

Thursday, October 11, 2018

My Andorra experience

After experiencing gentle birth with Dr Tan, I know I will always go back to her for my next baby. Unfortunately, she stops doing delivery and focuses more on surgery. Before shopping for other doctor, I messaged her assistance one last time to confirm she’s no longer available for delivery.

I contemplate to see Dr Zalinda cause there were many good review from mommies in GB group but the distance is quite far.. so I decided to go for Andorra after reading some good review in fb. I know Dr Kham support natural birth and she does not practice episiotomy.. since birth plan aku tak over sangat, i thought she would be okay with it..

Unfortunately, I’m disappointed. With both their service and labour experience.

Selalunya, you go to private hospital because you want to see your chosen obygn for your check up. In Andorra, I booked my delivery with Dr Kham tapi in total aku jumpa dia around 2-3 times jek.. the rest semua jumpa doc locum jek.. and it’s a different doc every single time.. apa ke pointnya aku queue pepanjang bayar memahal tp jumpa doc locum???

Masa menunggu pun kemain lagi.. walaupun dia dah bagi slot tuk appointment kau, you still have to wait minimum 2 hours! The longest wait for me is 5 hours.. ridiculous sangat.. then tak payah la bagi time slot for the appoinment, buat 1st come 1st serve jek!!

Birth plan pun aku discuss dengan doc locum, sah2 Dr Kham tak baca request aku.. aku minta simple jek.. no episiotomy, minimal ve, no drugs, free movement, natural membrane rupture, skin to skin and delay cord clamp.. the only thing i got is no drug, no episiotomy and minimal ve!! Aku tanya dengan dia ye, about my birth plan. Dia cakap boleh je bawak and review dengan dia.. but she was never around to review it herself and her locum doc assure me that all this can be achieved as long as there is no complication!! Do not, i repeat DO NOT promise your patient things you have no intention in keeping!!

I did not even asked for preferred birthing postion cause I know she does not support GB.

I was not allowed to move kat labour room walaupun belum fully dilate.. doc cakap boleh, nurse cakap xboleh.. skin to skin and delay cord clamp tu boleh je dia bagi while dia dok jahit luka tu.. dcc xperlu lama pon.. masa Laiqa haritu 15 min je clear dh darah dalam tu.. bila aku voice out request aku dia bagi alasan, “uri dah detach from dinding”. I was like, “seriously doc??” DCC tu just nak ensure all the blood flow to ur bub je.. so it’s between uri dengan baby.. kalau x, xde la orang tergila2 nak buat lotus birth bagai.. skin to skin, aku rasa govt hosp pun bagi skin to skin kot!!

Then of course.. too many inteference.. kalau dengan Dr Tan, dia wait it out just.. takde nak speedkan progress ke apa.. yang ni, siap cakap dorang akan tolong cepatkan bukaan sebab masa masuk labor room tu aku baru 7cm..

then kat sini dorg guna stirrups nak secure kaki ko which is a nightmare for me..palang yang dorg strapkan kaki to make sure korang kangkang tu!! Bila aku dah fully dilate, dorang suruh tahan dulu sebab baru nak setup.. aku cam pelik mula2. Sekali dia angkat natang tu, aku ngeri! Masa ni, i remember thinking, “salah pilih hospital, salah pilih doc!!” I was supposed to think of delivering my baby, but all i can think of is this hospital sucks.. this delivery sucks! i just want to push and get this over with.. i am not sure apa yang dorang buat to "help" with bukaan, but i felt some pressure.. which i never experienced masa dengan Laiqa.. and somehow aku rasa it's the reason kenapa inner thigh aku kebas lepas delivery.. tak hilang2 sampai aku abis cuti maternity haritu..

Maybe ada yang akan cakap mengada la budak ni.. semua nak complaint.. i can only say this, suka hati aku lah nak complaint. Aku paid money for good service, kalau tak.. aku hadap hospital govt je. It’s my money not yours, so shushhh!

Delivering ur baby should be a joyous and peaceful experience.. something that can bring smile to ur face whenever you remembers them. Not traumatizing and horrible! I know this is very subjective. For me, it’s when I was not force to do anything I don’t want to do, it’s when I am allowed to follow my natural instinct when delivering my baby. Especially when there is no complication!!

I am thankful I have at least one experience that I enjoyed very much.. i still remember how I was still sitting on the toilet until Laiqa was crowning (something only GB mommies will understand kot).. i still remember being happy, holding my husband hand while pushing my baby out, i still remember the peace just being left in the labor room with my husband and baby, skin to skin. Dr Tan was just standing on the side, guiding me.. dia pegang aku masa nak sambut Laiqa, keluarkan uri and jahit je.. and it makes me smile everytime.. it makes me think i can do it again.. i don't mind doing it again~~ two more babies? no sweat, bring it on bebeh!! sadly, now i think.. sorry babe, this is our last~!! kilang closed!! i might rethink kalau Dr Tan is back to delivering babies or ada another doc macam dia  >_<

p/s: the food memang best, taraf hotel.. but takde menu nasi..

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