BF Diary: The Beginning

When I found out that I was pregnant, I did lots of reading on the don’ts and do’s. My main research was on breasfeeding. I was surrounded by bf-ing mothers and have read enough of successful stories, so dah set in my mind to fully breastfeed my baby~

Malangnya, despite all my research.. I still have rocky start. First day after Mika’s arrival, I was too tired and sleepy sebab I was given a dose of pethadine during my labor (which doesn’t reduce the pain pun though I managed to doze off for a few minutes in between my contractions)! On the way to my room, dorang letak Mika on my chest for a while, and all I can do is to smile at him and belai rambut diab yang lebat! I did tell the nurse that I want to feed him tapi dia suruh aku tido dulu. While I was sleeping, they gave FM to Mika.. pfftttt!! Lepas tu Mika slept all day long sikit pun tanak susu. Aku try jugak sua miss B with the nurse help tapi Mika tidur keras!

The same thing happened on the second day!! They fed him FM before sending him to my room and there’s no sign of milk. Time ni tak sabar nak balik dah, cause aku nak cepat-cepat berurut. Miss B pun dah start mengeras. Unfortunately for me, aunty aku yang suppose to massage me is not feeling well so we have to postponed the massage session. By this time, I was feeling soo frustrated because I have to continue to feed Mika with FM.

Hari ke-4 baru la nampak bayang susu lepas berurut, walaupun sebelah je. Excited giler, aku terus sua kat Mika. Sakitnya tak payah cakap la since he didn’t latch properly. Aku pun tak berapa pandai lagi, so agak merana la nak menahan sakit! The same night, I started to pump because Mika was sleeping all the time. Nak gerak tuk feeding pun tak berjaya. Alhamdulillah, dapat la jugak dalam 1 setengah oz. Then urut the other side sebab nak kasi keluar jugak. Berkat kesabaran and kegigihan aku dan hubby, the same night keluar jugak susu. Hasilnye hampir 3 oz jugak berjaya diexpress!! Pastu I managed to spill some milk pulak, rasa nak menangis je time ni!

For the next 2 day, we start to mix formula with EBM. I have started to pump every 2 hours to increase my milk supply so boleh la fully bf. Penat giler ye pump every 2 hours around the clock but to ensure Mika get the best, ku tabahkan hati bangun pagi buta then spent one hour to pump. Nasib mak ada, so siang boleh la jugak ganti tido.

Hari yang ke-tujuh, Mika dah fully on breastmilk through bottle sebab my nipples hurt like crazy tak sanggup nak kasi direct kat dia. My aunt dah bising-bising, cakap biar la berdarah pun I have to direct feed my baby. Normal katanya. Haruslah aku ignore the advice, takut karang aku terus stop satu hal pulak. Plus I’ve read a lot on breastfeeding kan, so haruslah aku tau yang it won’t hurt if your baby latch correctly. Puas aku search online camne nak latchkan baby correctly. Lepas seminggu, aku gilir-gilirkan bottle and direct so that nipple ada masa nak heal in case of incorrect latching. By this time, my milk supply has stabilized so that I started to freeze some. Sikit-sikit lama-lama jadi bukit, ye tak?

After two weeks, mak balik leaving me alone to take care of the little one. Hubby pun dah start keje. Sebab tak biasa lagi, aku terkejar-kejar nak settlekan semua benda. Time nak pump pun limited, so I have to reduce my session to every 4 hours. After a week of this strenuous routine, start la ada problem with my milk supply. Disebabkan aku terlampau stress and penat, susu tak nak keluar sangat so stock merundum menambahkan stress. Aku pun mula la research camne nak keluarkan susu sampai la aku kene bengkak susu yang sangat sakit tak ingat. Berjalan pun sakit ok! Last resort, pegi for another massage session with my aunt. Lepas berurut, mencurah-curah keluar but then bila balik and pump.. bluergghh still tanak keluar.. menangis2 aku sambil mengepam!  Lepas tu, both breast take turn pulak bengkak susu. This week kiri, next week kanan. Sangat mencabar minda!!

Now, 2 days away to 2 months.. Alhamdulillah milk supply amat menggalakkan although takde la macam setengah orang sekali pump sampai berbelas oz, aku dapat 5-7oz pun dah bersyukur~rezeki Mika la ni and hopefully this continue for the next 22 months, amin~ bengkak susu tu still ada occasionally but I now have a husband who knows how to massage my breast, tak payah nak pegi berurut ke Kajang lagi.. hahaha boleh jadi mak bidan dah ye cik abang? tak sanggup nak massage breast sendiri time bengkak susu sebab it's really painful, keluar air mata tahan sakit!!

Sekarang ada dilemma lain pulak.. I don’t have enough space to store my ebm! My freezer dah penuh and hubby dah bising sebab dia takde space nak ikan ayam segala.. muahahah freezer telah dikidnap oleh Mika sepenuhnya!!

p/s: orang kata nak seribu daya, tak nak seribu dalih~ aku bersyukur sebab aku masih mampu bertahan walaupun macam-macam ujian datang, Alhamdulillah! setengah orang macam senang je menempuh alam breastfeeding ni, you guys are soo lucky~!

p/ss: Terima kasih cik abang sayang~

p/sss: to all mommy-to-be out there, be prepared and kuatkan semangat sebab it's not an easy journey. Jangan give up ok!!