si Mika start wean off masa aku 5 months preggy with Laiqa.. sebab makin kerap pulak dia nak bergayut malam2.. sakit pinggang mak nak melayan.. terus sumbat botol.. took him 2 days je to move on..
Laiqa, aku stop pump bila dia masuk 2 years ++ sebab masa tu attached dengan Petronas.. lecehnya mengangkut 3 bag naik lrt... and since masa tu duduk kat menara perak, mommies room and surau is on another level and my card does not have access to other level.. jadi malas nak tunggu depan pintu waiting for someone to walk by and open the door.. nasib stock susu banyak, so berjaya la bf dia sampai 2 thn lebih jugak.. susah sikit nak wean off mak cik ni.. too attached to boobies.. in fact sekarang kalau tanya dia lagi, she still wants to breastfeed.. and since dia dok la minta nak rasa susu, aku bagi la susu si Nayla ni.. sedap katanya and nak lagi hahahaha
Since dah berjaya bf dua orang, aku agak confident la kali ni.. buttttttttt i was in for a suprise.. i struggle for my 3rd adventure.. sebabnya, dr prescribe aku with antibiotik this time around to avoid infection.. keyword: to avoid. And since lama aku tinggalkan dunia bf ni, aku ikut je lah like a good patient.. 2nd degree tear is quite scary pada aku.. then on the 3rd day masa kat rumah Nayla ni dok la asyik nak menyusu.. macam tak kenyang2.. bila aku check, i don’t have any milk.. maybe setitik dua.. and i panic.. like what the hell kan?
Lepas tu mula la stress... penat aku fikir what’s wrong with me.. traumatic birth ke? Then tada.. lepas aku telan ubat2 yang doc kasi.. i know what’s wrong.. it’s the because of those antibiotic.. i avoid antibiotic at all cause selalunya.. especially when breastfeeding sebab antibiotic will reduce ur milk production.. so what will happen to new mom yg baru nak establish supply??
Terus campak tong sampah.. and continue latching while kasi jugak fm sekali dua.. aku bukan momzilla yg tolak fm totally walaupun tau xde susu.. and the next day start dh increase, not much tp enough to totally bf Nayla..
Then start la pulak episode nipple crack.. aku tau memang akan jadi every time.. but i never expect it to be sooo bad! Kalau compare with Laiqa dulu, Laiqa lagi pandai latch walaupun dia keluar lagi halus dari Nayla..
Since it’s too bad, aku start alternate between direct latch and bottle feed.. then start la episode bengkak susu.. sebab u know, ur baby is the best pump~ the pain was soooo bad sampai, sampai aku trauma bila Nayla bangun nak menyusu.. this time around merasa la pump bandung sebab i was bleeding quite badly on both side.. at one point, aku rasa nak give up and jadi ep mom jek but.. but bangun memalam 2-3 kali tuk mengepam is nightmare for me.. imagining me doing that for the next 2 years give me that push to try just one more time.. again and again..
I do that for one month.. 1 freaking month before full recovery.. in that one month, for every 2 hours.. aku start phobia bila Nayla bangun.. and i think hard to decide whether nak direct feed or bagi bottle hahaha macam fikir masalah dunia.. and i curse and blame myself bila luka yang baru nak nampak elok tu terbuka balik just sebab aku decide nak direct latch.. and it’s back to bottle bottle bottle.. direct feed.. bottle bottle.. repeat~~! oh the joy of bf mommies!!
That was the worst one month of my life and i totally hate breastfeeding hahaha but today, alhamdulillah.. everything is good.. in fact peti ais aku dah start penuh dengan susu.. and hopefully, murah la rezeki Nayla nak menyusu badan sampai 2 tahun lebih macam abang and kakak.
I’m patting myself on the back for holding on and never giving up~! I would say this is the most traumatize bf experience for me.. menyusu Laiqa yg paling senang since dah ada experience and Laiqa pandai latch..
To all bf mommies out there.. congrats!! And to new mommies, do read a lot, consult with lactation consultant, be strong and never give up~!!
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