Diary Isteri yang ditinggalkan! Part 9

Maliki is off to the sea again.. this time with 3 kids for me to handle and I am freaking out.. tak sempat lagi nak masuk office, or get myself familiar with handling 3 kids in the morning.. getting ready for work and school..

Day 6
First day hantar Nayla ke nursery!! Me time, yahoooooo!! Kekonon nak start excercising~ end up terbungkang depan tv, baca novel kat wattpad
Pantang dapat membaca, mesti tak ingat dunia.. bila takde distraction, bahagia sangat rasa.. i need more me time, tapi cuti dah habis~

Day 7
It’s Mika field trip today.. he’s super excited nak pergi Petrosains and Beryl’s choc/biscuit factory.. as usual lah, bangun awal, siap cepat.. asyik suruh cepat mami cepat

Since pergi kilang choc, kenelah kasi duit belanja kot2 nak beli choc kan. Kesian pulak kalau duk tengok orang lain membeli. Since this is the first time nak kasi pocket money, aku pun tak sure nak kasi berapa.. maliki ckp 30 banyak sangat, so aku kasi RM20 je with additional RM5 dalam bag. In case duit hilang. Dia memang banyak kali case duit hilang ni.

Before pergi, of course aku duk pesan to listen to teacher, always be with ur friend, and bagitau teacher kalau nak g toilet. Macam radio rosak aku dok ulang2, sambil remind him not to spend money kat Petrosains shop sebab mahal and tak boleh makan.

Balik tu excited la dia bercerita.. tunjuk kat aku coklat and biscuit yg dia beli.. bila aku kira-kira total spending and balance duit macam tak tally huhu tatau la mana hilang few ringgit lagi.

Siap bawak balik happy meal yg dia dapat. Since aku tau dia tak suka burger mcD, aku pesan suruh letak dalam lunch box aku kasi and bawak balik. Dalam kereta, dia hulur aku roti burger je. Patty ayam dah selamat masuk perut. Ko rasa??? Hahahaha

Tapinya, dia tak berapa suka pon choc and biscuit yg dia beli tu. Beli sebab excited nak membeli jek. Aku yg makan semuanya.. including those yummy cookies muahahaha

Day 10
Kecoh BB ada Mycoplasma and Norovirus outbreak kat school.. total of 32 kids affected.. Laiqa bernasib baik sebab banyak ponteng sekolah this week agaknya.. rabu and jumaat ponteng.. khamis half day >_<

Atas persetujuan parents, dorang declare tutup sekolah for a day untuk cleaning up and sanitizing.. and that is how I finished all my annual leave hahaha shutdown period during Xmas week nanti, either unpaid leave or advance leave la nampak gayanya

Day 11
First day of work!! Bangun seawal 5:20, tapi still kelam kabut nk keluar pukul 6:40..

Day 14
Cukup 2 minggu.. supposed Maliki pegi 2 minggu je.. but takde ura-ura nak blk pon... and he’s going away again end of this month..
all I can say is, “yeah2 whatever.. next time jangan hairan kalau aku buat2 tak nampak kalau tak sihat ke, nak minta tolong ke.. i bet boss tu rela je nak tolong or jaga masa sakit..!”
Cause that’s what I’ve been doing.. i take care of myself, sihat ke sakit ke.. it’s all me me me!! i take care of the kids, even when I’m sick.. 2 orang budak aku ok je lagi.. u add one more.. (2 months old baby yg tido pon nak kene berdodoi, abang kakak bising sikit dah terjaga, nak dodoi pun berjam sebab kakak and abang kacau sokmo) and pretend like it’s all fine and dandy for me...
Like i say,” whatever!!”

I am beyond pissed!!

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Happy Birthday dear son!

Happy 7th Birthday my dear son!!

Toughest year for me so far!! Awak cakap mami garang!! With you losing everything everyday, it’s hard to keep my cool sayang~~ tak campur lagi all the destruction and damaged u caused.. intentionally or accidentally >_<

Regardless of all the crap you pull.. know that I will still love you, always and forever!!

You are my baby, for as long as I’m living.. and i miss those long hair!!

My Andorra experience

After experiencing gentle birth with Dr Tan, I know I will always go back to her for my next baby. Unfortunately, she stops doing delivery and focuses more on surgery. Before shopping for other doctor, I messaged her assistance one last time to confirm she’s no longer available for delivery.

I contemplate to see Dr Zalinda cause there were many good review from mommies in GB group but the distance is quite far.. so I decided to go for Andorra after reading some good review in fb. I know Dr Kham support natural birth and she does not practice episiotomy.. since birth plan aku tak over sangat, i thought she would be okay with it..

Unfortunately, I’m disappointed. With both their service and labour experience.

Selalunya, you go to private hospital because you want to see your chosen obygn for your check up. In Andorra, I booked my delivery with Dr Kham tapi in total aku jumpa dia around 2-3 times jek.. the rest semua jumpa doc locum jek.. and it’s a different doc every single time.. apa ke pointnya aku queue pepanjang bayar memahal tp jumpa doc locum???

Masa menunggu pun kemain lagi.. walaupun dia dah bagi slot tuk appointment kau, you still have to wait minimum 2 hours! The longest wait for me is 5 hours.. ridiculous sangat.. then tak payah la bagi time slot for the appoinment, buat 1st come 1st serve jek!!

Birth plan pun aku discuss dengan doc locum, sah2 Dr Kham tak baca request aku.. aku minta simple jek.. no episiotomy, minimal ve, no drugs, free movement, natural membrane rupture, skin to skin and delay cord clamp.. the only thing i got is no drug, no episiotomy and minimal ve!! Aku tanya dengan dia ye, about my birth plan. Dia cakap boleh je bawak and review dengan dia.. but she was never around to review it herself and her locum doc assure me that all this can be achieved as long as there is no complication!! Do not, i repeat DO NOT promise your patient things you have no intention in keeping!!

I did not even asked for preferred birthing postion cause I know she does not support GB.

I was not allowed to move kat labour room walaupun belum fully dilate.. doc cakap boleh, nurse cakap xboleh.. skin to skin and delay cord clamp tu boleh je dia bagi while dia dok jahit luka tu.. dcc xperlu lama pon.. masa Laiqa haritu 15 min je clear dh darah dalam tu.. bila aku voice out request aku dia bagi alasan, “uri dah detach from dinding”. I was like, “seriously doc??” DCC tu just nak ensure all the blood flow to ur bub je.. so it’s between uri dengan baby.. kalau x, xde la orang tergila2 nak buat lotus birth bagai.. skin to skin, aku rasa govt hosp pun bagi skin to skin kot!!

Then of course.. too many inteference.. kalau dengan Dr Tan, dia wait it out just.. takde nak speedkan progress ke apa.. yang ni, siap cakap dorang akan tolong cepatkan bukaan sebab masa masuk labor room tu aku baru 7cm..

then kat sini dorg guna stirrups nak secure kaki ko which is a nightmare for me..palang yang dorg strapkan kaki to make sure korang kangkang tu!! Bila aku dah fully dilate, dorang suruh tahan dulu sebab baru nak setup.. aku cam pelik mula2. Sekali dia angkat natang tu, aku ngeri! Masa ni, i remember thinking, “salah pilih hospital, salah pilih doc!!” I was supposed to think of delivering my baby, but all i can think of is this hospital sucks.. this delivery sucks! i just want to push and get this over with.. i am not sure apa yang dorang buat to "help" with bukaan, but i felt some pressure.. which i never experienced masa dengan Laiqa.. and somehow aku rasa it's the reason kenapa inner thigh aku kebas lepas delivery.. tak hilang2 sampai aku abis cuti maternity haritu..

Maybe ada yang akan cakap mengada la budak ni.. semua nak complaint.. i can only say this, suka hati aku lah nak complaint. Aku paid money for good service, kalau tak.. aku hadap hospital govt je. It’s my money not yours, so shushhh!

Delivering ur baby should be a joyous and peaceful experience.. something that can bring smile to ur face whenever you remembers them. Not traumatizing and horrible! I know this is very subjective. For me, it’s when I was not force to do anything I don’t want to do, it’s when I am allowed to follow my natural instinct when delivering my baby. Especially when there is no complication!!

I am thankful I have at least one experience that I enjoyed very much.. i still remember how I was still sitting on the toilet until Laiqa was crowning (something only GB mommies will understand kot).. i still remember being happy, holding my husband hand while pushing my baby out, i still remember the peace just being left in the labor room with my husband and baby, skin to skin. Dr Tan was just standing on the side, guiding me.. dia pegang aku masa nak sambut Laiqa, keluarkan uri and jahit je.. and it makes me smile everytime.. it makes me think i can do it again.. i don't mind doing it again~~ two more babies? no sweat, bring it on bebeh!! sadly, now i think.. sorry babe, this is our last~!! kilang closed!! i might rethink kalau Dr Tan is back to delivering babies or ada another doc macam dia  >_<

p/s: the food memang best, taraf hotel.. but takde menu nasi..

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Breastfeeding 3.0

Just like before, haruslah niat nak breastfeed si Nayla ni.. abang and kakak haritu 2 tahun setengah plus2 jugak berjaya menyusu...

si Mika start wean off masa aku 5 months preggy with Laiqa.. sebab makin kerap pulak dia nak bergayut malam2.. sakit pinggang mak nak melayan.. terus sumbat botol.. took him 2 days je to move on..

Laiqa, aku stop pump bila dia masuk 2 years ++ sebab masa tu attached dengan Petronas.. lecehnya mengangkut 3 bag naik lrt... and since masa tu duduk kat menara perak, mommies room and surau is on another level and my card does not have access to other level.. jadi malas nak tunggu depan pintu waiting for someone to walk by and open the door.. nasib stock susu banyak, so berjaya la bf dia sampai 2 thn lebih jugak.. susah sikit nak wean off mak cik ni.. too attached to boobies.. in fact sekarang kalau tanya dia lagi, she still wants to breastfeed.. and since dia dok la minta nak rasa susu, aku bagi la susu si Nayla ni.. sedap katanya and nak lagi hahahaha

Since dah berjaya bf dua orang, aku agak confident la kali ni.. buttttttttt i was in for a suprise.. i struggle for my 3rd adventure.. sebabnya, dr prescribe aku with antibiotik this time around to avoid infection.. keyword: to avoid. And since lama aku tinggalkan dunia bf ni, aku ikut je lah like a good patient.. 2nd degree tear is quite scary pada aku.. then on the 3rd day masa kat rumah Nayla ni dok la asyik nak menyusu.. macam tak kenyang2.. bila aku check, i don’t have any milk.. maybe setitik dua.. and i panic.. like what the hell kan?

Lepas tu mula la stress... penat aku fikir what’s wrong with me.. traumatic birth ke? Then tada.. lepas aku telan ubat2 yang doc kasi.. i know what’s wrong.. it’s the because of those antibiotic.. i avoid antibiotic at all cause selalunya.. especially when breastfeeding sebab antibiotic will reduce ur milk production.. so what will happen to new mom yg baru nak establish supply??

Terus campak tong sampah.. and continue latching while kasi jugak fm sekali dua.. aku bukan momzilla yg tolak fm totally walaupun tau xde susu.. and the next day start dh increase, not much tp enough to totally bf Nayla..

Then start la pulak episode nipple crack.. aku tau memang akan jadi every time.. but i never expect it to be sooo bad! Kalau compare with Laiqa dulu, Laiqa lagi pandai latch walaupun dia keluar lagi halus dari Nayla..

Since it’s too bad, aku start alternate between direct latch and bottle feed.. then start la episode bengkak susu.. sebab u know, ur baby is the best pump~ the pain was soooo bad sampai, sampai aku trauma bila Nayla bangun nak menyusu.. this time around merasa la pump bandung sebab i was bleeding quite badly on both side.. at one point, aku rasa nak give up and jadi ep mom jek but.. but bangun memalam 2-3 kali tuk mengepam is nightmare for me.. imagining me doing that for the next 2 years give me that push to try just one more time.. again and again..

I do that for one month.. 1 freaking month before full recovery.. in that one month, for every 2 hours.. aku start phobia bila Nayla bangun.. and i think hard to decide whether nak direct feed or bagi bottle hahaha macam fikir masalah dunia.. and i curse and blame myself bila luka yang baru nak nampak elok tu terbuka balik just sebab aku decide nak direct latch.. and it’s back to bottle bottle bottle.. direct feed.. bottle bottle.. repeat~~! oh the joy of bf mommies!!

That was the worst one month of my life and i totally hate breastfeeding hahaha but today, alhamdulillah.. everything is good.. in fact peti ais aku dah start penuh dengan susu.. and hopefully, murah la rezeki Nayla nak menyusu badan sampai 2 tahun lebih macam abang and kakak.

I’m patting myself on the back for holding on and never giving up~! I would say this is the most traumatize bf experience for me.. menyusu Laiqa yg paling senang since dah ada experience and Laiqa pandai latch..

To all bf mommies out there.. congrats!! And to new mommies, do read a lot, consult with lactation consultant, be strong and never give up~!!

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Laiqa goes to Earthopia

This is Laiqa's first field trip with Brainy Bunch.. before this, dia dah pernah pegi field trip with IQ.. dia macam biasa excited berminggu-minggu before the actual trip.. everyday, dia invite aku ikut dia pergi "Jannah" katanya nak tengok animals.. best katanya, ada tiger, rabbit, elephant.. tiap hari, twice a day.. siap tanya kenapa mami tak boleh ikut hahaha anak mami sangat budak ni!

on the actual day, I was at home with her sister! so daddy lah yang hantar dia pergi sekolah.. excited dia, bangun pagi tak banyak ragam.. kul 6 ye dia bangun sebab nak kene hantar Mika dulu mihmihmih, baru la Maliki tau susah senang nak settlekan this 2 little monster pagi-pagi.. baru bape hari dah mengeluh~

sebab excited jugak, happy je nak ikat rambut siap pakai cekak lagi.. selalu dia memang tak nak ikat rambut.. aku pun tatau la kenapa suka sangat rambut mengerbang-ngerbang gitu!

since she's the smallest one in class, dapat la line up kat depan sekali.. tu with her best friend Ana Maryam.. partner in crime causing mischief in school.. lagi hebat dari Mika according to aunties..
fun fact: kakak Ana Maryam is Mika's BFF kat BB hahaha unfortunately, Nayla is not the same age dengan adik dia, kalau tak they could be BFF jugak kot nanti.. and their mom, is UTP alumni~
orang siap ingat Laiqa and Ana ni kembar masa sports day aritu hahaha sebab rambut, tinggi semua dah lebih kurang sama

I have no idea what are they doing, sun-gazing? huhuhu

uncle.. that's my forehead, not my eyes!! I bet dia pun tatau apa yang dia kene tengok.. plus pak cik ni pun salah park mata dia.. mesti dia pelik, aku nak tengok apa kat lantai ni.. 

 

Kejap je field trip diaorang ni, by 3PM dah sampai balik kat school ground.. bila aku tanya ada feed animal ke.. dia jawab belum pegi lagi.. confused aku kejap.. tertinggal bas ke budak ni.. rupanya memang dorang tak de pergi tengok animals pun kali ni.. hahahaha kesian, cita-cita field trip dia nak tengok animals.. lain kali lah kak. esok-esok kita ajak daddy pegi zoo la senang~

Snip Snip

Anak dara ni lama dah request nak potong rambut.. nak botak or macam daddy katanya.. sah-sah dia tatau botak tu apa, cuma Maliki la selalu cakap kita botak kan kepala la sebab rimas tengok dia tak nak ikat rambut.. hahaha yes, akhirnya Maliki yg ajak potong.. haritu kemain dia tak kasi trim sekalipun..

so for the 2nd time, si Laiqa jejak kaki kat saloon..

Before

After

not as I requested.. aku suruh layerkan rambut dia.. orang tu dok potong straight jek.. dah kasi gambar dah kot.. oh well, what to do. dia pergi dengan daddy pon, kalau aku dah menyinga dah kot. dah la potong fringe pon senget benget..

baru la nampak muka dia, tak payah nak main selak-selak ahahaha hasrat nak buat bob, tapi rambutnya nipi sgt nnt tak cantik pulak..

lepas ni takde la orang nak puji cantik rambut dia dah sebab dah takde dh curls kat bawah tu huhuhu makan hati la kakak oiiiii. nak potong rambut sangat kan?

Hi no.3!!

The reason why I am on hiatus.. say hi to baby Nayla

Found out I was pregnant when Maliki was away at sea.. I was always hungry and some food doesn't sit well in my tummy..

After that, everything went downhill~ hands down, the worst experience so far.. awal2 dah agak it's a girl ^_^

I have all day sickness.. dari pagi, sampai malam.. makan salah, xmakan pon salah.. berat static for 3 months huhu

So yeah.. i'm officially a mother of three.. and this is possibly the last for me.. unless.. unless Dr Tan is practicing again ahahaha traumatic delivery experience.. if there is a next time, please please remember this: go for the doctor you want and DO NOT settle with someone near regardless of whatever feedback or review you read.. redah la jem or lautan api sekalipun as long as you get the doc you want.. GB all the way for me.. pro natural doctor is not good enough!

And Hospital Andorra? Such a disappointment for me.. review coming up, maybe~

Till next time, when the new ma'am allows it :)

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